Everyone should get to test-drive dogs. I used to think it might be sort of neat to have a basset hound. They're funny, at least. And I bet they're super at sitting on feet to keep them warm in the winter. I had a corgi once that was great at that, and I sort of miss it. However, I have come to the realization that I will never, not in a million years, get a full-time basset hound.
Here are six things that I've learned this week about basset hounds that helped me reach this conclusion.
- They don't fetch.
- They slobber on everything.
- They can jump up on you, regardless of the laws of physics. And then they slobber on your chest.
- The manage to slobber on their own ears. Their ears are always so wet and...slobbery.
- Their feet are freakishly large, and are often covered in slobber that has rained down from their giant, slobbery maws.
- They are not good ratters, despite the fact that they can fit down the holes and they have all that slobber to lubricate their passage.